The story of a Girl, Lost in the sea of her thoughts, and writings, she was only 14 at the time thinking suicidal, cutting herself. Who would have thought that she had done them things, No one, because she was just an ordinary small town girl, with a lot of love around her? Maybe a little too much, and a little less love. This is a story of a girl interviewing herself in her room on a piece of paper alone, soon it will go worldwide, on the internet. On this very blog, this story should open your hearts on pain, child abuse, and suicidal children in this cold world, which we all live in.
I was sitting in my room listening to music so loud you could not hear yourself talk, only loud even to hear yourself think, my mother was deaf so it didn't matter how load the music was, or the T.V. Anyways, I think to my self, sit awhile, and I take the a tons of pill, then loping around. So, I find a long enough rope to go around my neck and I tie it to this thing in my ceiling I put it around my neck. I felt like I didn't belong in this world any more, I felt like I was floating. Tears... warm tears, I was debating whether to go for it or not. For awhile I had the devil on my left shoulder and GOD on the right, devil telling to go for it and The Lord, saying a prayer trying to convince me to stop, he said That I am better than that, I have a wonderful future, playing ball, saving animals, riding horses. I felt like I had a knife to my heart, all the pressure from my abuse, my life, being called names, emotions, all of it was catching up to me all at one time. It was just to much at one time, I didn't know what to do.
BAMMM... Back to reality sitting in my room listening to music so loud you could not hear yourself talk, only loud even to hear yourself think, my mother was deaf so it didn't matter how load the music was, or the T.V. I look in my mirror; I didn't recognize who was on the other side, from crying make up smeared, eyes red, and to think that I had thought of all of that in just about five minutes. All I can hear now is The Lord, telling that I did a great Job, I made it through the first step, I hear Hannah and Chase laughing so hard they are about to pee there pants. GOD love them, they are too great. I look in the mirror one last time, I recognized who I was, I knew what was going to happen next.
My heart was beating so fast; I couldn't even count my pulse. All I could think about then, was "Why did I just think of all that", "What just happened to me, did my life just change in about five minutes" See, people don't realize how easy it is to kill yourself it really is easy. We the People need to step our game, pay close attention to teens, children, and adults and help them but also not only them but “US” from suicide.
This girl told me that she has been saved, how has she been saved. Family, people that really care about her, counseling, pets.
Funny to think that this girl had just walked away, from what I call "A murder been saved"
